A Lightweight’s Guide to Indiana’s Best Mocktails

For the longest time, I wore my inability to hold my liquor like a shameful secret. While the rest of my friends couldn’t get enough beer and Jägerbombs (even typing that word makes me want to throw up), I would hold my breath, seal my eyes closed and down a shot or three.

They cheered for more. I ran to the nearest bathroom.

After a few years of getting predictably sick after just a few drinks, I discovered that the flush I would often get after a drink was the effect of a real thing: an inherited deficiency in one of the enzymes that helps the body break down alcohol, a common trait in people with Asian heritage. That’s me!

I was overjoyed with this diagnosis and, thus armed with science, I stopped drinking. I even felt empowered to admit the unspeakable to my friends: I don’t even like the taste of alcohol most of the time.

I know. The gasps were real. But other than a smoky bourbon now and again, I much prefer the crisp, icy, always-satisfying taste of a Coke.

But I am friends with a bunch of foodies who enjoy a good alcoholic beverage, and I LOVE a good bar. And, sometimes, I miss the artistry of a good cocktail.

So I decided to search Indy for some of its best mocktails, and Indy didn’t disappoint.

Creative mocktails at Parlor Public House (photography: Parlor Public House)

THE BEST ARTISANAL MOCKTAILS: PARLOR PUBLIC HOUSE

The interesting thing about Parlor Public House (also owners of the popular Penn & Beech Candle Co.) is that it still feels like the new kid in town, and yet their avid following and ease within the community make it seem like it’s been an Indy staple for a while.

I’ve only been to Parlor Public House for their coffee and the best lavender latte I’ve had. Given their care with their coffee drinks, I had a feeling they would have some good mocktails.

To my surprise, they had a mocktail list. In my quest I learned that a handful of my favorite restaurants and bars don’t have a ready mocktail list, though everyone is willing to make a mocktail.

“It’s becoming more popular,” explains Jacqueline Lansing, general manager at Parlor. “I’d say that every third customer we see is wanting something without alcohol.”

About their mocktail list: “It’s good to put something in front of them,” added Bryan Oliver, Parlor’s bar manager. “Once they see the flavors, they know what they want,”

Bryan couldn’t have been more right. After I saw that the Marnie Palmer was made with a mango ice cube, I was sold. And even though I encouraged my husband, Kevin, to order a cocktail, he couldn’t resist the ginger beer and blueberry flavors in the “Uhm, like no.”

My drink was mellow but anything but boring, with complex layers of mango and tea. And the Marnie Palmer offered textures that kept on giving: As my mango ice cube melted, it left a slushy texture with even more flavor than my last sip.

Kevin’s drink packed a punch that you would normally associate with alcohol. You expect mocktails to be refreshing, but the “Uhm, like no,” took three ingredients of ginger beer, lime and blueberry and mixed them to produce an explosion that was made even better by knowing that you could drink as many as you want (and you’ll want about a dozen) without a hangover.

Livery creates mocktails to order. (photography: Livery)

THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS: LIVERY

Even though I’ve never been a big drinker, when I have ventured a cocktail or two, Livery has never disappointed.

With cocktails crafted with seasonal ingredients and the restaurant’s Latin-inspired menu in mind, I’ve risked the ill effects of my enzyme deficiency more than once for one of their smoky mezcal concoctions. Thanks to pregaming with their swoon-worthy empanadas and guacamole, I’ve never regretted it.

Which is why it took everything in my power not to order one of their amazing cocktails during my mocktail crawl. While Livery doesn’t have an official mocktail list, the hostess and the bartender were quick to tell me that they could make me a mocktail based on what I usually drink.

I’ll admit that, since I don’t drink a lot to begin with, I was a little at a loss to give the bartender some direction. But after I told her that I wanted something fresh and seasonal, she wasted no time in making me a Watermelon Jalapeño Fresca. Like the cocktails at Parlor Public House, the ingredients list was simple with watermelon, jalapeños and Fresca. With big chunks of watermelon swimming through the mocktail, it checked off the “fresh” box in a big way. And the jalapeño on the rim brought a nice contrast to the watermelon.

In future, I’d love Livery to add mocktails to their drink menu, but in the meantime, it’s a great place for people who love alcohol, for those who can do without it and for everyone who loves to share whatever drink they prefer with an amazing meal.

While Livery doesn’t have an official mocktail list, the hostess and the bartender were quick to tell me that they could make me a mocktail based on what I usually drink.

Hotel Tango’s zero-proof libation (photography: @hoteltangofletcherplace)

THE BEST-PRESENTED MOCKTAILS: THE INFERNO ROOM

The Inferno Room has become a destination in Indy boasting one of the largest collections of art native to Papua New Guinea, a food menu filled with Caribbean and Pacific Island–inspired cuisine and tropical cocktails that are literally on fire.

As cheesy as it sounds, a mere step into The Inferno Room transports you to an island where the drinks and the vibes are as chill as they come. After trying their Coocoonut Groove mocktail, I can confidently say their zero-proof drinks are just as delicious and delightful as their cocktails I’ve tried.

The Coocoonut Groove is one of two mocktails on the menu, and I knew to expect some amazing coconut flavors. But when I saw the drink would also give the warmth of cinnamon and—wait for it—walnut bitters, I knew I was in for a treat I wouldn’t forget.

The presentation was impeccable in a frosted coconut mug and just enough foam on the top to balance out the floral accents. It was one of the first drinks I’ve had, alcoholic or nonalcoholic, that lived up to its beautiful presentation, with a depth of flavor that left a lasting impression. It was tropical, but not over-the-top.

When it comes to the popularity of mocktails, Kendall Murphy, bartender extraordinaire at The Inferno Room, has noticed the same trend Parlor Public House has seen. They said mocktails have become more popular and even though there are currently two mocktails on their menu, the staff are happy to create other mocktails.

They also pointed out that they’ve seen people choose mocktails recently because of lifestyle choices. “Some customers like the health benefits of not drinking alcohol, and I know customers and friends who have chosen to get sober.”

Whether alcohol-free beverages are your thing because of a health condition, a conscious lifestyle choice or you simply want to switch things up based on your mood and the time of day, Indy continues to offer its quintessential “Hoosier hospitality” by way of mindful, inclusive beverage options. 

A SHORT LIST

My mocktail crawl in Indy was only the tip of the iceberg. Kendall Murphy of The Inferno Room pointed me to an Instagram called Parched Pavement, dedicated to offering “a working road map to zero-proof options in the City of Indianapolis.”

Here is a short list of some of Indy’s most zero-proof-friendly bars courtesy of Parched Pavement, and don’t be shy about asking any bartender to make a mocktail!

• Parlor Public House
• The Inferno Room
• Bodhi: Craft Bar + Thai Bistro
• Kan-Kan Cinema and Brasserie
• Hotel Tango Distillery
• The Ball & Biscuit
• King-dough
• Bluebeard
• Rooster’s Kitchen